not a second to waste.

I'm posting this in reply to your message, Andy .

Thank you so much for helping out heaps , Nav .
I really appreciate it and I really do mean it c:

I'll be completely honest with not just you , Andy but to all of you because all of you deserves to know the truth .

I agree on what you said .
I agree on majority of the details and your point of views .
Yes, I admit . At one point I did almost replace of all of you unawarely .
Most of you.
I was too influenced by the happy life I had that time ,
The 'friends' I thought I had .
The one I loved so much and still do .
The laid back life I had here .
I was hypnotized in a spell .
I was blind and I wrong .
I was stupid to be unaware and I'm sorry that I had .
I was what you would call a bad friend or a bitch .
I was selfish and I didn't think what you guys would feel .
And I'm sorry .

But then a trigger was pulled that someone then confronted me.
She told me that I wasn't me anymore and I had changed .
I wasn't the Mei Jin everyone knew anymore and all I did was swore even more and acted really bitchy .

At first I was so angry
I was in fact more than angry .
But then I started thinking about it and maybe she was right .
In fact she was.
I did change my bad ways of swearing though.

Another trigger was pulled when an incident I shall not type up here on how to find my real friends.
I became all sad and miserable .
I also started to do heaps so thinking.
I started to think why didn't I have this problem in Malaysia ?
I started remembering .
I started remembering about you, Andy .
I guess thats how I started asking for you .

I did change so many times this year but I know I am the best of all of those times now .
I did already realize, Andy .
I know I was a bad friend already .
And I'm sorry for it .

It's okay to hate me so much now that you've known the trust .
I'll face it .
I'll accept what you have gotta say about it . All of you .
I know I was wrong .
But I am already learning from my mistakes .

I do wish too .
That I could rewind back to January 2007 .
Where Naomi, Audrey, Yi Han and I could all be teh four musketeers once again and have those awesome times we had together .
Enjoying PEA so much .
Those extremely funny Speech and Drama times.
Making fun of Mathews with Sxu Gene and all .
Nav and I laughing so hard together .
You and I .. best friends .
I didn't wait to move .
I really didn't call for this .
I didn't want to be the person I was before .

But heres one thing for you .
I didn't talk to her for ages ?
I don't think shes even having the effort to try to talk to me .
And why only look at the people I don't talk to ?
What about Naomi ?
I talk to her ALL the time when I have the chance to .
I talk to Audrey when she comes online .
Naveena and Li Yan too .
I still talk to them .

And I think Andy deserves to be on my blog too .
He's my friend too and also part of my life .
I'm sorry that you guys have the same name ,
But what can I do ?
Make him change his name ?

Overall though, thank you so much for telling me your opinion .
I'll appreciate what you have gotta say .
It's okay if you don't want out friendship anymore .
I'll accept what you've got installed for me.
I'm prepared .

p.s : Maybe I didn't miss you before when I wasn't changed yet but I do miss you now. My post before was not a lie . Don't call me a liar before you don't know the truth about something . It hurts . I don't mind the truth but calling someone something isn't very nice .
And I don't know what to do if you think this whole post I'm typing up right now is a lie.
It's up to you to believe .